Welcome To Dhoby Gaut Interchange Singapore

Welcome to one of my faves Singapore MRT Interchange: Dhoby Gaut SMRT Interchange.




Like ko 'tong walkalator na 'to sa Dhoby Gaut Interchange. (para sa mga tamad maglakad like me. Haha!)






Sa Dhoby Gaut Interchange pwede ka magchange train papuntang Vivo City or









Lumipat sa Circle Line.
Eto yung list ng pwede mo babaan na trains pag sa Dhoby Gaut ka manggagaling.






Ok that's all for now mga madlang people.

Don't forget to Subscribe for more Buhay Singapore Tips.

I will try my best to update this blog everyday para sa inyo na gusto mgbakasyon o maghahanap ng work dito sa Singapore.

Till next time!



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Subject: TAWA PINOY - LAUGHTER IS D BEST MEDICINE

Subject: TAWA PINOY - LAUGHTER IS D BEST MEDICINE


2 Mental Patient nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama ...
Sira 1: Pare, di tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa,
sa lapag ka na lang matulog. (Bumaba sira 1.)
Sira 2: Ayan, pare maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!
____________ __

MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na.
Dalhin mo sa malayo!
MISTER: Ok!
MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?
MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan,
di ako nakauwi!
____________ _________ _

PEDRO: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid.
Grabe ang linaw ngayon nang pandinig ko!
JUAN: Wow, galing! Magkanong bili mo sa hearing aid?
PEDRO: Kahapon lang!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

JUAN: Pare, ang bilis kong nabuo 'tong puzzle!
PEDRO: Talaga? Gaano kabilis?
JUAN: 5 months!
PEDRO: Tagal naman!
JUAN: Tagal ba ' yun? Nakalagay nga dito sa box nya eh: 'for 3 years & up

____________ _______

AMO: Inday, naalis mo na ba yung mantsa sa barong Tagalog ko?
INDAY: Yes, sir!
AMO: Good! Anong pinang-alis mo?
INDAY: Gunting po, sir!


JUNIOR: Tatay, andaming lamok!
TATAY: Patayin mo ang ilaw para hindi tayo makita.
(Pagkapatay ng ilaw, lumitaw ang mga alitaptap... )
JUNIOR: Tatay, bumalik sila! May dalang flashlight!
____________ _____

NENE: Nanay, mahalaga pala ang punctuation mark.
Nakakalungkot kapag nawala.
NANAY: Aba , oo, anak! Mahalaga 'yun. Pero bakit nakakalungkot?
NENE: Kasi, si ate, iyak nang iyak... Dalawang buwan na raw
siyang walang period.
____________ _________ _

EUGENE : Pare, walanghiya 'yung mga kondoktor sa bus!
REGGIE: Bakit?
EUGENE: Ayaw akong papasukin sa bus! 'Yung iba, ang daming
ibinebenta.. . mani, kasoy, puto, balot, itlog ng pugo, pinipig,
chicharon, espasol, puwedeng pumasok!
REGGIE: Ano ba ang ibinebenta mo?
EUGENE: Papag.
____________ _________ _

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: . (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?
____________ _________ _________ _____

NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak " LEON " baliktad ng Noel.
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!
____________ _________ ____

Sinoli ni Paquiao ang libro sa library.
Manny: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!
____________ _________ ______

sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para
makalibre pumasok may dalang inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan?
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok!
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!
____________ _________ _______

GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!
____________ _________ _________ ___

ERAP SA PIZZA HUT
WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos.
____________ _________ _________

Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Aling Dionisia para magtanim. Akala ng mga nakakakita nilol oko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
Maid: nay, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
Aling dionisia: anu Gid! Seedless to!



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NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN


Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
------------ --------- --------- ---------

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------

Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
------------ --------- --------- ---

Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

------------ --------- --------- -

Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin … “MANKY”......

------------ --------- -----

Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

------------ --------- --------- -------

Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
------------ --------- --------- ------

Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
------------ --------- --------- ----

Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --

Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

------------ --------- --------- --------- --

Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

------------ --------- --------- ------
You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika …
Andito na ako sa ‘you is!’

------------ --------- --------- ----

Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating … ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!

Location:Tuas Bay Walk,,Singapore

TEN CONYO-MANDMENTS [very funny!]

Bubble Gang Bitoy Bathroom Dance, Bad romance

My First and Last Job

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a gymnasium , but they said I wasn't fit for the job. I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!

Ang Visa ni Lolo

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspaper in the
Philippines .

A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila
for his VISA interview.
The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the young
man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.

"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated.

"Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon."
"He said he wants to see his children there."
Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.

The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just
come and visit him here?"

The grandson translated this in Tagalog.

Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko.
Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay."
(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They've seen the
Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.")

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting
the visa application "because the applicant was unable to speak any word of English."

"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."

The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang
sasabihin ko:
"****** ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag
Tagalog! ?"

Translated, "He said: You son of a *****, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak in
Tagalog!?"

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo's visa application
in pronto.

(Taken from The Philippine Star (newspaper), written by Boo Chanco)

Go LoLo...Mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!

TAWANAN KONTI …

TAWANAN KONTI …


Three Feelings:
What is the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when your wife is pregnant,
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital): Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!

Husband: Kung di ako makaligtas sa operasyon ko bukas, ikaw na sana ang bahala sa lahat-lahat. .. I LOVE YOU!
Wife: Tumigil ka! wala pang namamatay sa TULI!

Erap dreamed that he died and went to heaven. St. Peter gave him Ai-ai delas Alas as partner, saying, 'Kung mabait ka sana , mas maganda ang partner mo.' Erap saw Chavit with Gretchen Barretto and said, 'Bakit si Chavit, mas madaming kasalanan, si Gretchen ang partner?' St. Peter: Iho, parusa yan kay Gretchen.

Prospective Employer to Applicant: " So why did you leave your previous job?"
Applicant: " The company relocated and they did not tell me where!"

Why did Erap shoot his wife when he bought a house?
Because the contract reads: 'Execute all 3 copies together with your wife...'

Ano ang nagpasikat kay Erap? Wristband.
Ano ang magpapayaman kay Abalos? Broadband.
Ano ang magpapabagsak kay GMA? Husband!

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: ? (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?


BF: May ibibigay akong gift sayo, pero hulaan mo muna!
GF: Sige, clue naman...
BF: Kailangan ito ng leeg mo.
GF: Kwintas?
BF: Hindi... PANGHILOD!

*

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Baraha.

*

I thought my life is lonely till I saw a man with no arms but happily shakes his body.
I asked him: "You don't have an arm, why are you! so happy?"
He answered: "di ako happy, makati lang itlog ko!"