PNP Training

Kaya naman pala laos mga PNP natin kasi eto training nila!

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN


Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
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Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
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Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
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Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
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Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
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Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

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Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin … “MANKY”......

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Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

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Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
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Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
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Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!

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Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

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Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

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You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika …
Andito na ako sa ‘you is!’

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Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating … ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!

Location:Tuas Bay Walk,,Singapore

TEN CONYO-MANDMENTS [very funny!]

Bubble Gang Bitoy Bathroom Dance, Bad romance

Ang Visa ni Lolo

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspaper in the
Philippines .

A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila
for his VISA interview.
The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the young
man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.

"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated.

"Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon."
"He said he wants to see his children there."
Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.

The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just
come and visit him here?"

The grandson translated this in Tagalog.

Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko.
Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay."
(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They've seen the
Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.")

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting
the visa application "because the applicant was unable to speak any word of English."

"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."

The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang
sasabihin ko:
"****** ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag
Tagalog! ?"

Translated, "He said: You son of a *****, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak in
Tagalog!?"

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo's visa application
in pronto.

(Taken from The Philippine Star (newspaper), written by Boo Chanco)

Go LoLo...Mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!

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,

I'm Not An Alcoholic
I'M A DRUNK!
Alcoholics Go To Meetings.