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NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN


Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
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Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
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Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
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Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
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Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
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Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

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Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin … “MANKY”......

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Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

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Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
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Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
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Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!

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Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

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Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

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You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika …
Andito na ako sa ‘you is!’

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Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating … ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!

Location:Tuas Bay Walk,,Singapore
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