How to Ride the Jeepney in the Philippines

My First and Last Job

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a gymnasium , but they said I wasn't fit for the job. I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!

Ang Visa ni Lolo

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspaper in the
Philippines .

A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila
for his VISA interview.
The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the young
man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States.

"Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated.

"Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon."
"He said he wants to see his children there."
Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated.

The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just
come and visit him here?"

The grandson translated this in Tagalog.

Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko.
Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay."
(Translation: "Tell him, my children were born here. They've seen the
Philippines already. I just want to see America before I die.")

The HEARTLESS Consul was unimpressed as he declared, devoid of any emotion, that he was rejecting
the visa application "because the applicant was unable to speak any word of English."

"Reject daw yung visa ninyo kasi hindi daw kayo marunong mag-Ingles."

The lolo was equally unimpressed. "Sabihin mo ito sa kanya at huwag na huwag mong papalitan ang
sasabihin ko:
"****** ina niya, bakit siya nandidito eh hindi naman siya marunong mag
Tagalog! ?"

Translated, "He said: You son of a *****, how come you are here... you do not know how to speak in
Tagalog!?"

Taken aback, sense of humor still intact, the consul relented and approved lolo's visa application
in pronto.

(Taken from The Philippine Star (newspaper), written by Boo Chanco)

Go LoLo...Mabuhay ang Pinoy!!!

Bumper Stickers

,

I'm Not An Alcoholic
I'M A DRUNK!
Alcoholics Go To Meetings.

Beware of some buyers in Facebook Marketplace

Ok I am letting go of my macbook so I've decided to post it in Facebook marketplace.

And hoooh boy!
In an instant, I got a lot of enquiries from different people but would you believe
with almost the same content.

These scammers should have talked, brainstormed and do each transactions carefully with a different style.

Talking with a Lack of creativity huh!

Lolx!

I wonder how they're gona do it with paypal?

Mmmmm....
Read for yourself.













Comments would be appreciated to help warn everyone.

Good day!

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