Bloodbath dominates HK media

HONG KONG - LURID photographs of the bloodbath dominated the front pages of the Hong Kong press on Tuesday, with a few Chinese-language newspapers changing their mast-head colour from red to black in mourning.

Editorials echoed the southern Chinese territory's leader in querying the response of Philippine authorities. 'The way it is handled - particularly the outcome - is very disappointing,' Hong Kong Chief Executive Donald Tsang told reporters late on Monday.

Newspapers bemoaned missed opportunities to end the siege much earlier, including when the gunman - a disgraced former senior police inspector - had waved from the bus door.

'A large group of police failed to get into the bus after surrounding the vehicle for nearly half an hour,' the Hong Kong Economic Journal said, adding: 'Their appalling professional standards, and the lack of strategic planning, made observers both angry and sad. This tragedy could have been avoided'.

Also noting the length of time it took Manila police commandos to intervene, the Apple Daily said: 'It makes people question the competence of the police.' The Standard said Philippine authorities must be held to account. 'What went so terribly wrong?' the English-language daily said.

'What did the gunman tell police during the negotiations? What was the response from the police? The Hong Kong government must also demand that Manila provide answers for the many questions'. -- AFP

Nakakatawa ang mga pulis tingnan

Nakakatawa ang mga pulis tingnan na nagkukumpulan sa isang tabi.
Di ganito ang mga napapanood ko sa action movies ah!
haaaaay!

Fury in HK over carnage

A woman from Hong Kong cries as she enters a hospital to visit her relative who was wounded during Monday's hostage drama in Manila, Philippines. -- PHOTO: AP

HONG KONG - THE Philippines faced fury in Hong Kong on Tuesday as the territory plunged into mourning for eight tourists mown down in Manila, with flags at half-mast and share traders holding a minute's silence.
One survivor of Monday's day-long bus siege said her husband and two daughters were killed in a hail of bullets as the crisis reached a dramatic climax.
Her son was in intensive care in hospital, said the survivor, identifying herself only as Mrs Leung.
'The Philippine government.... I can't accept this. Why did they do this to us? The gunman did not want to kill us. He only shot us after the negotiations failed,' she said, sobbing.
The Hong Kong government has added the Philippines on its travel 'black' list, urging all against travelling there.
Two Cathay Pacific flights were also charted to take relatives of the hostages, as well as psychologists, doctors and social workers, to Manila. -- AFP

Subject: TAWA PINOY - LAUGHTER IS D BEST MEDICINE

Subject: TAWA PINOY - LAUGHTER IS D BEST MEDICINE


2 Mental Patient nagsisiksikan sa maliit na kama ...
Sira 1: Pare, di tayo kasya. Bawas tayo ng isa,
sa lapag ka na lang matulog. (Bumaba sira 1.)
Sira 2: Ayan, pare maluwag na, akyat ka na dito!
____________ __

MISIS: Dear, iligaw mo nga tong pusa. Nakasako na.
Dalhin mo sa malayo!
MISTER: Ok!
MISIS: Bakit ka ginabi? Niligaw mo ba ang pusa?
MISTER: Bwisit na pusang yan! Kundi ko siya sinundan,
di ako nakauwi!
____________ _________ _

PEDRO: Galing ako sa doktor, nakabili na ako ng hearing aid.
Grabe ang linaw ngayon nang pandinig ko!
JUAN: Wow, galing! Magkanong bili mo sa hearing aid?
PEDRO: Kahapon lang!
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

JUAN: Pare, ang bilis kong nabuo 'tong puzzle!
PEDRO: Talaga? Gaano kabilis?
JUAN: 5 months!
PEDRO: Tagal naman!
JUAN: Tagal ba ' yun? Nakalagay nga dito sa box nya eh: 'for 3 years & up

____________ _______

AMO: Inday, naalis mo na ba yung mantsa sa barong Tagalog ko?
INDAY: Yes, sir!
AMO: Good! Anong pinang-alis mo?
INDAY: Gunting po, sir!


JUNIOR: Tatay, andaming lamok!
TATAY: Patayin mo ang ilaw para hindi tayo makita.
(Pagkapatay ng ilaw, lumitaw ang mga alitaptap... )
JUNIOR: Tatay, bumalik sila! May dalang flashlight!
____________ _____

NENE: Nanay, mahalaga pala ang punctuation mark.
Nakakalungkot kapag nawala.
NANAY: Aba , oo, anak! Mahalaga 'yun. Pero bakit nakakalungkot?
NENE: Kasi, si ate, iyak nang iyak... Dalawang buwan na raw
siyang walang period.
____________ _________ _

EUGENE : Pare, walanghiya 'yung mga kondoktor sa bus!
REGGIE: Bakit?
EUGENE: Ayaw akong papasukin sa bus! 'Yung iba, ang daming
ibinebenta.. . mani, kasoy, puto, balot, itlog ng pugo, pinipig,
chicharon, espasol, puwedeng pumasok!
REGGIE: Ano ba ang ibinebenta mo?
EUGENE: Papag.
____________ _________ _

JUDGE: Ano ba talaga nangyari?
ERAP: . (di nagsasalita)
JUDGE: Sumagot ka sa tanong.
ERAP: Naman eh!!! Kala ko ba hearing lang to??? Bakit may speaking?
____________ _________ _________ _____

NOEL: ipapangalan ko sa aking anak " LEON " baliktad ng Noel.
NINO: sa akin ONIN baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: wag niyo akong maisali-sali dyan sa usapan niyo!
____________ _________ ____

Sinoli ni Paquiao ang libro sa library.
Manny: sobrang dami ng characters wala naman storya.
LIBRARIAN: kayo pala kumuha ng telephone directory namin!
____________ _________ ______

sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang panabong. Si Juan para
makalibre pumasok may dalang inahin.
BANTAY: [sinita si Juan] ano yan?
JUAN: [galit pa!] manok!
BANTAY: alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
JUAN: may laban ang mister niya, siyempre moral support bobo!
____________ _________ _______

GF: magaling! At sino tong baby na nagtext sayo?
BF: ah eh kumpare ko yun! Lalake yun! Baby lang palayaw.
GF: oh eto replyan mo. Hindi daw kayo tuloy at may mens daw ang tarantado!
____________ _________ _________ ___

ERAP SA PIZZA HUT
WAITER: sir, do you want me to cut your pizza into 4 slices or 8 slices?
ERAP: into four na lang, masyadong marami yung eight. di ko mauubos.
____________ _________ _________

Nagbubungkal ng lupa si Aling Dionisia para magtanim. Akala ng mga nakakakita nilol oko lang siya dahil wala naman siyang tinatanim.
Maid: nay, wala naman kayong tinatanim ah.
Aling dionisia: anu Gid! Seedless to!



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For Rent: Penthouse 2+1+1 Garden Evergreen Lor.15 Singapore

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Evergreen Lor.15

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- 1300sq.ft
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Call to view Dinx (ERA) 9643.5138


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NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN


Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan.
Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda!
Genie: Buksan mo ang bote.
Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako?
Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako.
------------ --------- --------- ---------

Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg?
Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA!
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------

Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee?
Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e.
Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon?
Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know…
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -

Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast.
Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na?
Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon?
------------ --------- --------- --------

Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo..
Hatton: Pagandahan na lang tayo ng nanay!
Pacquiao: Ah! Wala namang ganyanan. I mean you know…
------------ --------- --------- ---

Aling Dionisia: Inday, akina nga yung seeds ko.
Inday: Bakit po magtatanim po ba kayo?
Aling Dionisia: Anung magtatanim sinasabi mo? Nasisilaw ang mata ko kaya kailangan ko yung seeds.

------------ --------- --------- -

Jinky: Manny, kung magkakaanak ulet tayu, anu magandang name?
Manny: Hmm. Eh di combine na lang name natin … “MANKY”......

------------ --------- -----

Aling Dionisia: Gusto ko naman pag nagka-anak kayo uli ni Jinky, di lang pangalan nyo pagsasamahin. Dapat kasali din pangalan ko.
Manny: Oo naman nay, kasu midyu mahirap yun.
Aling Dionisia: Hindi ah, may naesep na nga ako eh.
Manny: Talaga 'nay? Anu?
Aling Dionisia: DIOMANJI (dionisia-manny- jinky)

------------ --------- --------- -------

Pacquiao: Honey, buksan mo na yung sweets
Jinky : Lambing mo talaga. mwah !! Nasan ang sweets honey?
Pacquiao: Yung sweets ng ilaw. di ako makakita… ang dilim!!
------------ --------- --------- ------

Si Manny Pacquiao tumakbo sa pagka-Congressman sa GenSan...
Reporter: Manny, anong masasabi mo sa peace and order sa inyong lugar sa Gen San?
Manny: Ah, yun ba? uhmm...eh... ang masasabi ku lang diyan ay ....
Reporter: Ano..?
Manny: Ahh, kwan, ... maraming Fish sa Gen San pero wala masyado umo-Order!
------------ --------- --------- ----

Freddie and Manny heart to heart talk
Manny: Pare, ba't naman hanggang ngayon wala ka pang syota? Wala ka pa bang na pupusuan?
Freddie: Meron. .. Manhid ka lang!

------------ --------- --------- --------- --

Noodle!! Noodle!! Noodle!!
Manny Pacquiao sa Deal or No Deal

------------ --------- --------- --------- --

Las Vegas
Waiter: May i take your order, Madam?
Aling Dionisia: Soup
Waiter: Chicken, asparagus, noodle, fish or soup of the day?
Aling Dionisia: Soup drenks!

Sa isang Birthday Party
Aling Dionisia: Blue!!! Blue the Kick!!!!

------------ --------- --------- ------
You is!' 'you is! you is!', sigaw ni Aling Dionisia pagdating sa Amerika …
Andito na ako sa ‘you is!’

------------ --------- --------- ----

Chavit: Manny, paki - acknowledge naman si 1st Gentleman, late dumating … ayun kadadaan lang sa tabi ng ringside.
Manny: I would like to acknowledge the ARRIVAL OF THE LATE 1st GENTLEMAN WHO JUST PASSED AWAY!!

Location:Tuas Bay Walk,,Singapore

TEN CONYO-MANDMENTS [very funny!]