How Are You Philippines?

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned... couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting. Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn't fit in. I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a gymnasium , but they said I wasn't fit for the job. I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it. SO I RETIRED, AND I FOUND I AM A PERFECT FIT FOR THE JOB!

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspaper in the Philippines . A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview. The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States. "Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated. "Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon." "He said he wants to see his children there." Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated. The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just come and visit him here?" The grandson translated this in Tagalog. Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko. Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay....

, I'm Not An Alcoholic I'M A DRUNK! Alcoholics Go To Meetings.

Ok I am letting go of my macbook so I've decided to post it in Facebook marketplace. And hoooh boy! In an instant, I got a lot of enquiries from different people but would you believe with almost the same content. These scammers should have talked, brainstormed and do each transactions carefully with a different style. Talking with a Lack of creativity huh! Lolx! I wonder how they're gona do it with paypal? Mmmmm.... Read for yourself. Comments would be appreciated to help warn everyone. Good day! - Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

-- di ko alam kung meron na dito.. pero i really find it amusing.. Laughing baka may alam din kayo sa school or lugar nyo share na lang.. FA Wall: "nobody cares" somebody answered: "not even the carebares?" then another: "not even kier?" then: "not even zoren?" lastly: "not even zorro?" all written by different people. AS: AS chairs: "push button to eject seatmate" "push button to eject urself" "push button to kill teacher." "push button to eject teacher" ....reply: "it's jammed! We're doomed!" AS cubicle: "Donate your bulbol here.." tapos may chewing gum na pagdidikitan.... AS chair : "you know bobo? bobo is you!" AS 1st floor CR: "if you forget the past, then you porget the purious.." AS 1st floor CR uli: " Im a simple gay " tapos me sumagot "sira! Dapat 'Im simple and gay!' Taga peyups ka ba? duh! " tapos me sumagot uli...

Host: What "N" (narra) is the national tree of the Philippines? Contestant: Niyog? Host: Mas matigas pa diyan. Contestant: (in a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!!! ********* Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal? Contestant: Sa back? Host: O sige, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta). Contestant: Likod? Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito (Rizal Park). Contestant: Rear Part? (Susme! Likod pa rin yun!) ************ Host: Saan "B" (beach) tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo? Contestant: Banyo? Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, maaarawan ka. Contestant: Bubong? Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini. Contestant: Beerhouse! ************ Host: Anong "L" (Lifeguard) ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag ikaw ay nalulunod? Contestant: Lifebuoy? Host: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan ng ito. Contestant : Safeguard...

This is the BEST email that I received today. Loved this. Yes I agree. God is our only HOPE for the healing and Full restoration of our country, The Philippines. Not rallies , complaints or anger. Just PRAYER and talking to Him.. Blogging and spreading this out. *THE ONLY HOPE FOR THE PHILIPPINES* by Father James Reuter, S.J. By her own admission, GMA (Gloria Macapagal Arroyo) rightfully assessed that over the last decades; our republic has become one of the weakest, steadily left behind by its more progressive neighbors.' Forty years ago, we were only second to Japan in economic stature, and way ahead of Singapore , Hong Kong , Malaysia , and Thailand . Today, at our present growth rate, it will take us 30 years to get to where Thailand is. 1.. A population of 160 Million; 2. Of those, 70 to 90 million (equivalent to our current population) will live below the poverty line; 3. Our national debt is estimated to be at US$200B (compared to US$28B when Marcos fl...