How Are You Philippines?

Kaya naman pala laos mga PNP natin kasi eto training nila!

NO MORE ERAP JOKES; PACQUIAO NAMAN Genie: Bibigyan kita ng isang kahilingan. Aling Dionisia: Talaga?...gusto ko gumanda! Genie: Buksan mo ang bote. Aling Dionisia: At gaganda na ako? Genie: Hindi. Babalik na lang ako. ------------ --------- --------- --------- Pacman: Sabi ng titser ko, bakit daw ang eggplant walang egg? Aling Dionisia: Sabihon mo sa titser mo, na pag me egg yun, turta na yan, TURTA! ------------ --------- --------- --------- ------ Reporter: Noong nanalo ka Manny, anong pasalubong mo kay Jinkee? Manny: Ibon syempre. Mahilig sya dun e. Reporter: Ibon? Anong klaseng ibon? Manny: Yung mga lipstek, pangmik up ba? Basta mga Ibon products! Yo know… ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - Dionesia: Doc gusto ko magpalagay ng breast. Doctor (gulat) magpapasexsi ka na? Dionesia: Breast sa ngipen ba. Paraumayos yun ngepen ko! Deba uso yon? ------------ --------- --------- -------- Pacquiao: Wala, talo ka na kahit anung gawin mo.. H...

This is a true story taken from one of the most read newspaper in the Philippines . A 70-year old 'lolo' from the province was accompanied by a grandson to the US Embassy in Manila for his VISA interview. The lolo spoke not a word of English so the grandson translated for him. The Consul told the young man to ask his grandfather why he wanted to go to the States. "Bakit daw ho ninyo gustong pumunta sa Amerika?" The grandson translated. "Sabihin mo gusto kong makita yung mga anak ko doon." "He said he wants to see his children there." Fair enough, that's what the lolo's application indicated. The Consul had another question. "Ask him why does he have to go there? Why can't his children just come and visit him here?" The grandson translated this in Tagalog. Lolo replied: "Sabihin mo kasi dito pinanganak yung mga anak ko. Nakita na nila ang Pilipinas. Gusto ko namang makita ang Amerika bago ako mamatay....

, I'm Not An Alcoholic I'M A DRUNK! Alcoholics Go To Meetings.